Come sit with me beneath the willow,
there is plenty room all around.
Come sit with me beneath the willow,
upon the solid ground
When you sit with me beneath the willow,
you will hear the children play.
Underneath the willow, till forever and a day.
The breeze is softer than the sun,
as quiet as your smile.
The breeze is softer than the rain,
upon your face as it falls.
Can you hear the willow breath in a song?
Can you hear the song forever in your heart?
Can you feel the willow's song?
Can you feel the willow's song?
Lay underneath the willow with me,
release your burdens free.
As you lay beside me, dream a dream.
Only one that you can see.
Look up into the sky, before you now.
See the clouds pass us by,
as the world goes 'round.
Hold on tight to your dreams,
as you lay beside me.
Can you hear the willow's soul?
Can you see the willow's grin?
Can you hold the willow's song?
Can you feel the willow's breeze?
Sunday, February 10, 2013
Behind My Back with ED?
What bothers me the most sometimes is people going behind my back.
I've been sick this past week with a stomach bug. Odd thing is, I've had no fever or anything to cause my stomach to revolt in such a way that I can barely keep down liquids.
Today, I am doing better. I went to the doctor Friday and was given a prescription.
But on this incident, one of my mother's friends asked if my mom had thought about me having anorexia or bulimia.
Dare I say, I find this an insult!
Granted in the past I've been afraid of food. Afraid I'll get sick off of something I eat again, or getting sick off of something new. I tried pawning off my eating habits as some sort of "E.D" (eating disorder) because, I thought that the best to label it. When in reality I'm just afraid of getting sick again. I don't need all the medical complications that come with being sick so often. I don't want that, so I try to watch what I eat and avoid things that make me sick.
I don't believe I have the mind tendency towards or pro-anorexia or pro-bulimia.
It's such a heavy secret to keep and hurt yourself like that. The complications of both diseases are to extreme to be played with. Losing muscle mass, torn stomach muscles, torn stomach, almost dead, starving your brain, starving your heart of nutrients of vitality!
I've thought before I was an anorexic, and a bulimic. I don't want to starve myself to be pretty. I don't want to throw up because I ate too much. That's too much control issues that I don't need to worry about. Why anyone would want to do this to themselves is beyond me. It is not the case for me; I am just afraid to get sick. I think I make myself sick sometimes with stress, but not purpose to have the "best" figure!
I can understand my mother's friend's concern, but it demolishes my self-esteem to bits knowing that they think this about me. Granted I should take everything said by my mom's friend as a grain of salt. I won't let it bother me anymore.
I find the trust of thoughts, of my mom's friend a frail one.
I don't know why I get so sick sometimes off of food I've eaten in the past. Or why some food doesn't agree with me. I think I have a sensitive stomach that once I do something to irritate it, I've got to be careful the next two days to settle it down. I know what I can, and cannot handle with my eating habits. So, I try my best. That's all anyone could ask me to do :)
Latest updates. I've been keeping up with school. I'm doing fairly well. I have four subjects and am almost done with one of them to make three. How many seniors have three subjects for the second semester in high-school?. So with school and graduation coming closer to the end I'm getting scared and nervous, I really don't want to graduate. I'm terrified of why I have to do this. Because, I'm growing up? No, because I don't want the spot light on me. I'm a background person, I really just want to finish high school be done and ignore graduating. But I know that's not the case and maybe in the future I'll be happy I did.
I'm going to winter camp with my youth group at church. I'm nervous about that.
I'm nervous because I will be going to a different youth camp than I have in the past and not knowing anyone.... Well it will be a new experience. I'm positive I'll like it. Just worried about the first day. (thank God, they camp is able to make things with out wheat --aka gluten-- I love them! still bringing snack though :) )
Anyway... I guess that's it for now. :) I'm content and happy to be. <3 font="" peaces="">
I've been sick this past week with a stomach bug. Odd thing is, I've had no fever or anything to cause my stomach to revolt in such a way that I can barely keep down liquids.
Today, I am doing better. I went to the doctor Friday and was given a prescription.
But on this incident, one of my mother's friends asked if my mom had thought about me having anorexia or bulimia.
Dare I say, I find this an insult!
Granted in the past I've been afraid of food. Afraid I'll get sick off of something I eat again, or getting sick off of something new. I tried pawning off my eating habits as some sort of "E.D" (eating disorder) because, I thought that the best to label it. When in reality I'm just afraid of getting sick again. I don't need all the medical complications that come with being sick so often. I don't want that, so I try to watch what I eat and avoid things that make me sick.
I don't believe I have the mind tendency towards or pro-anorexia or pro-bulimia.
It's such a heavy secret to keep and hurt yourself like that. The complications of both diseases are to extreme to be played with. Losing muscle mass, torn stomach muscles, torn stomach, almost dead, starving your brain, starving your heart of nutrients of vitality!
I've thought before I was an anorexic, and a bulimic. I don't want to starve myself to be pretty. I don't want to throw up because I ate too much. That's too much control issues that I don't need to worry about. Why anyone would want to do this to themselves is beyond me. It is not the case for me; I am just afraid to get sick. I think I make myself sick sometimes with stress, but not purpose to have the "best" figure!
I can understand my mother's friend's concern, but it demolishes my self-esteem to bits knowing that they think this about me. Granted I should take everything said by my mom's friend as a grain of salt. I won't let it bother me anymore.
I find the trust of thoughts, of my mom's friend a frail one.
I don't know why I get so sick sometimes off of food I've eaten in the past. Or why some food doesn't agree with me. I think I have a sensitive stomach that once I do something to irritate it, I've got to be careful the next two days to settle it down. I know what I can, and cannot handle with my eating habits. So, I try my best. That's all anyone could ask me to do :)
Latest updates. I've been keeping up with school. I'm doing fairly well. I have four subjects and am almost done with one of them to make three. How many seniors have three subjects for the second semester in high-school?. So with school and graduation coming closer to the end I'm getting scared and nervous, I really don't want to graduate. I'm terrified of why I have to do this. Because, I'm growing up? No, because I don't want the spot light on me. I'm a background person, I really just want to finish high school be done and ignore graduating. But I know that's not the case and maybe in the future I'll be happy I did.
I'm going to winter camp with my youth group at church. I'm nervous about that.
I'm nervous because I will be going to a different youth camp than I have in the past and not knowing anyone.... Well it will be a new experience. I'm positive I'll like it. Just worried about the first day. (thank God, they camp is able to make things with out wheat --aka gluten-- I love them! still bringing snack though :) )
Anyway... I guess that's it for now. :) I'm content and happy to be. <3 font="" peaces="">
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