God only knows what I feel and what stresses me out.
God only knows my heart.
This past weekend this escalated between family. To the point you don't want to be near anyone or anything. You feel irritated in your own skin to be in their presence. Anxious around them, yeah. Feel like I don't ever want to talk to them again, of course. That will help nothing. Just hold your tongue and keep your heart free of pain by becoming numb.
In relationship to that feeling of being quiet, I'm quiet in my immediate family. I feel like I'm letting my family down. That I'm hurting my family by not being here. Or that I am too overbearing to my family as my older sibling is. So what do I do?
DO I find a place to be on my own? Do I just stay out of my family's hair. Do they miss me that much?
Am I causing to much trouble or strain?
These things wrack my brain and keep me up at night. Do I honestly help or do I hurt their situation?
God only knows what I want.
So what am I to do or even better what is God going to do with me.
So many questions with no answers.
I think I'm numb to a lot and want to go and clear my head. but no matter how hard any of us try problems will follow us, even into our dreams.
