Thanksgiving.

THANKSGIVING!

So, usually the modern American family will sit around the table for the food that the mother of the house has made and give thanks and eat the food. Some people say what they are thankful for, pray and then eat.
This all revolves around one fact, being Thankful for what you are given and are receiving. I believe that everyday needs to be a thanks giving to God. Everyday is better and better and closer to what God has in store for us. God has the best intentions. Sadly man kind, just grumble all year 'round and on Thanksgiving day they act like everything is all right, nothing wrong. The only day in the year that they are usually thankful for anything. I fell sorry for anyone who is right now that is out on the streets, hurting, barely getting by. They have things to be eternally grateful for. They are blessed and realize more potential in certain things that us spoiled Americans. I am grateful for living being able to share my thoughts, having the freedom of speech.

Now back to the topic that most people (most likely) the day of ,or after, Thanksgiving family's put up their Christmas decorations. Making the house festive.
Today I watched the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. The only thing, the only thing I saw there was everyone excited that Thanksgiving is the beginning of "the" holidays. Until New Year's Eve.
Seriously! people need to slow down and let the future unroll itself. Not us unrolling the future for ourselves. Let the day of Thanksgiving be for Thanksgiving. Not, about seeing how early we can get to a store this Black Friday and buy Christmas gifts. See who can get what first. Buy everyone a gift. Do this, do that. Not a body or even thing(s) can get me to think about what I am going to get everyone for Christmas because that is not what Thanksgiving is for.

Thanksgiving says is all. You are giving thanks, either to each other for getting through the hard times. Things for meaning something. What about God? I am thankful that I can be apart of my own life. That he let me type this message. What else could I want? Sure for the future road in my life turn towards the good, or even the great! Just consider this question as I go to eat my Thanksgiving meal.
What are you thankful for?

Thinking.

It's amazing what people can talk of and do, But what about there thoughts being spoken out loud? Like an author of a book and their thoughts on a certain object/subject? then being expressed through this book they are shown to the world after several hundred hours of fixing their errors. :)

Have you ever told yourself that you need to stop thinking bad thoughts. Knowing that God said you shouldn't think thoughts that are bad. You should never think that certain problems will be worse then what they all ready are. That you should never think bad thoughts about another person, even when you have a conflict with that person. God said not to and to be in control of what you think, say, and do.

-Thoughts can hurt expesialy when used verbally.
-Saying what ever in on your mind is not the best thing to do.
nor letting your tongue hurt someone emotionally. The tongue
is the strongest weapon that we have besides our fists. God did
say that we need to think before we do.
-Doing. Actions do speak louder then words in the wrong way.
Just because it's an action does not intend that it is okay to use.
Certain actions can have the wrong affect on people.

The reason that I am posting this is because I HAVE NOT kept my mind my heart nor my actions sin free. I am not proud of it. If anyone in there right mind can tell that they are in sin. They know there is a God. That can not be separated. We all are born with God in us. It is the decision to follow him and except Jesus as our Lord and Savior then we are in the right place, and if still doing sin we are in the right place doing the wrong things. If no one in their right mind can see this. Then they will struggle and not be well or what they want to be in life. What God planned them to be. If he hardened their heart. He did. We can't change that.


I have had trouble to do things the right way with out thinking of the outcome. What can I do?
I can ask for forgiveness,
I can ask for a second chance,
I can ask to try again. Knowing that ALL my mistakes will be in my head to remind me of the wrong. I have done wrong and I can't tell anyone Because I am ashamed. I am ashamed that I have a goody-goody-girl mask on and I can't do anything to get rid of it. O' I can try Really Try. It will all ways be a reminder of how bad I was and how I came to Christ. Just nothing can help me escape the wrong and pursue the right. I want too!

I have Jesus as my Lord and Savior sense I was little. Then sixth grade is really when I started to notice he's there. That I was loved when I didn't know it.
Now- I am doing nothing. I barely go to church and my brothers despise church as it's a bad thing. What?! No! They need to be grateful that church is there to fellowship in God through the pastor's message and ON YOUR OWN TIME! Pray and Meditate. Then fellowship with other believers to help you through the hard times that your in. They're there for that reason. The body of Christ needs to be Strong if the gears don't work in the clock it doesn't work. That's why there is a church. Normally the church used to be a home group and then study the Bible together as a giant family. :)

Please think of what I've said. Now I have to go and clean the kitchen. :) [Haha with my sister too]

Talk later. Forever and All Ways Writing.

SUMMER!

So, I last posted in March. Wow. time flies when you're busy.

In April and May I was finishing up school and was excited to do so.
Starting at the end of May I was done with Ambrose academy (teaching an after school program)
the second week of May.
Finally in June I was done with math. It had a few more lessons then I had planned.
Starting the third week of June I started drivers e.d. It went into the second week of July because of a family vacation and work. It lasted two weeks which were long crazy weeks. I passed my divers permit test and am glad that I can try and drive with adult supper vision. In the second week of July I went to church camp. I was relived to get away from home but all ways will I ever love coming back to it. We went rafting (scary) and various things it was so much fun! Bible study teaching and other things were included. With a ton of CANDY! I loved the camp and seeing my friends again.

After camp on the 19th I had my wisdom teeth pulled. Boy O' boy! I hated my Mom. Which I now regret. I was scared of the unknown and I dealt with it wrongly. The Sunday night before (because my brothers left that morning for b.s.a. camp in McCall.) My mom took me and my sister to go watch Eclipse. I was mean and bored out of my wits. Sure it is fun to fantasize, but honestly it comes to a point where you have to wake up and smell the coffee. The only reason I was bored is, I was upset about my wisdom teeth. But more the fact that I was really upset on how the medication would take effect and how I would act without knowing. Really stupid I know. Still people are scared of the most bazaar things. Like a dust bunny. Nah, just joking.
After my teeth I had the most fun of being sick and I found I might have been allergic to the prescription...... but maybe not.

I went to roaring springs after my sister got her wisdom teeth pulled. It was fun! I went with the boy next store and my brothers. Almost went on every ride. Didn't go on two because it had to be all or nothing.

At the beginning of August. I was getting ready for another camp. I find it hard to believe that I was getting ready for a camp by my self for the first time.
I went to asthma camp as an junior counselor. I am not sure whether I can accept the hours of volunteering for my congressional award.

Speaking about that the congressional award is the highest award that a civilian can achieve through the government. You have four sections: Volunteering, Physical fitness, Personal development, and Expedition/Exploration. You must achieve the level they give you and you can go for certificates (bronze, silver, and gold) and medals (bronze, silver, and gold.)You can automatically go for gold or anything then you are mailed the achievements before it.

I am now typing. Um my life is going to be different this weekend and the weekend after next. WOW O' WOW

I have nothing else to talk about besides the fact that My bros are annoying and yell whenever they can't defeat the stupid wii game they play! aghgh help!

Scared.

Have you ever been scared and you didn't know what to do.

Truth is for me. Right now I am scared. My family has recently been sick and fortunately my mom and I were not sick the first time. I became sick two weeks ago. ( Including this week) I have and ear infection and boy is it sure annoying. My ears are not clearing up like they have done in the past. My ears are clogged to the point were I can not even have a simple conversation with the person next to me. My ears have all ways been a problem ever sense I was little. I truthfully do not want a repeat of what has happened. My ears were fine and now, I can only hope that it is allergy season that therefore lays the reason of my ears. I have an appointment with my ear doctor next month and hopefully something good will come out of it. Because I am over tired of my ears with what happens. Yes, I might become deaf when I am older but at the moment knowing what is happening bothers me tremendously. Knowing that this happened when I was little and might happen again. I am glad God, gave me the gift of parents so they could take care of me and I them. I just wish, really wish with all my might that my ears were not my problem. I love hearing their voices. The sound is built into my head that when ever I hear them I can be sure that it is them. Right now, I am scared. I know what ever God does will be for him and I will be told to make the best of it. I am willing to accept that my ears will never be completely healed. That does not mean I can not try. I wish and pray right now that I my ears would become better and that my life can get back to normal.

Along the lines of doctors. My mom has had over 13 doctors' appointments in the last five weeks. Aghghg my mom is busy. Yes, that is a lot. I can not imagine what goes through her time line and thoughts of which can be lead off and brought back. O boy does her schedule look busier than that of mine.

WHAT EVER!

WHAT EVER!

What ever to life!
What ever to the end.
The abyss that lays
ahead.
The heart break from
a loved one.
Yet no one and I mean
NO ONE CARES!
Nothing will make you
look at such a soul. How
could an unclean thing
be permitted in such a place!?!
The life you knew is no longer
yours it is to this thing
this object, this life to uphold.
Till one dies or one parts you don't
realize how hard it will be for just
you to see that you at least love
them enough to tell you what's
bothering you. If they keep doing
it. You ask. Nothing happens.
This life better get its' grip or it will fall
real fast and I will not help it BACK!
It will cause hearts to cry and life's to
sulk. But I really don't care if it is no
longer near me or hurting the life I want!

Unknown.

So, I just wanted something to do. Guess what. I found it. Just rambling on about several things that are just very fun to me. Um, 1st TYPING I enjoy it a lot, have you never found anything better about this type of subject? No, I don't think you have. I enjoy it because I can express my feelings and just ramble like I am doing right now. I wonder why I lover to ramble it is such a fun thing, is it not? My brother just pinched his finger in the door though. I feel sorry. I have no idea how many times, as I while being little have pinched my fingers in doors. I remember one time in Reno, Nevada. (I lived there for the first five years of my life) Any who, something was going on at my house. I was coming out from the bathroom after putting my doll in the tub. because she was all wet, um then I placed my hand in the opening between the door and the frame and skinned my first or second finger. Yeah so. Talking about memories. I also have a ton more that are very fascinating to me. Unfortunately I wont share all of them. I also remember trying to drink my dad's coffee, I just didn't like the taste of it. um........ I remember having a toy puppy that would whine if you touched its ear. So, maybe some more..........................




Look down.


The house was dark and I was awake in bed. I dropped my pacifier between the wall and my bed. I was freaked out to get, cause I thought there were monsters and yet there were not. I grabbed it and we had our cat Smokey under my bed and he hit my hand cause he was in a playful mode. I grabbed it pulled it up and finally after ten minutes of thinking, went to the bathroom and washed it off. Went back to my room and closed the baby gate. wow that was when I was like two or three. I think? Yup two or tweeeeeee!
So, nothing new. Oh wait yeah there is I am going to a camp with my new youth group. (5Th-7Th) um, I am hoping it will rock. I've never done this so. I mean I have gone to a camp before, just not with this church. Wonder if it will turn out okay? oh well only one way to find out!

something

SCHOOL!!!!!!!!!!!!
No offence to any one, but school does not rock. no matter where you are it won't and I still have college left! ahghghghghghg I'm pulling out my hair now with this and I still have a lot left to go and do. One thing about this is I have no clue on what I want to be. I have considered of being a movie star, but oh my I can imagine somehow what it would turn out like. My mind does crazy things and I can usually see from a different point of view. Unsure of how though. I have also considered to take some of those test things that help you determine what line to follow; then you just have to choose off that list. This year I am a freshman and I can't believe how it's gone by so fast. Life in particular. How when you're little and you want time to go by fast so you can do this and that. When what we really needed to do is just take it easy and let time do its job. Now on the other hand, I just want time to stop so I can catch up to it. Why does life happen so fast?
I look at my mom's life and I don't know how she does it. She is so busy that I wouldn't even be able to catch up to her. Then I look at my life and see less but feel like it's overwhelming.
What can I do but ignore some of my friends and tell them that I am not able to play, just so I can get what I need to done. I feel that I am relied on by a lot of people-and don't I know it-I don't want to let that down. Everybody should know what that feels like. The hard part for me is to say no when I have to. I love helping and doing things to keep my mind busy. Yet, if I still keep saying 'yes' to everything. Then my life will never be the same. So I have tried to reason with myself and do everything that is needing to be done first, then just go down the crazy in-eventful life of mine. So in conclusion I will be doing what's needed. My life is going to be a whole lot worse, before it becomes better.

Thoughts

Thoughts. People can't and don't know what you think. Sometimes you don't even want to think because you're afraid to. Some people say whats on their mind and then get in trouble for it later. My opinion on thoughts is that you need them to kind of stay sane. When you're talking to yourself that's known as thinking out loud; the funny thing is when you're thinking out loud is way to loud people become suspicious. Then there are the thoughts that stay inside you dwell into fantasies and then become futuristic dreams. Who knows on what you think. Because what you think is your own personality. If you have thoughts and then express them it's a different story. When the story is sprung to life by an author it develops, into a marvelous book.
Soon it might get published and then it is famous. I have thought and thought about how my life would differ if I did something different the previous day. Say that I had been mean to my younger brother and instead of being mean and doing something that I might regret in the future I do something nice and caring. It would make a difference.

I have thought about the new year and how it has come to pass. My mind never raced on how something so little time wise would be so significant in a monstrous way. You wouldn't realize how it past until it did. I am talking about being in 2010. It seams different because you would know that it passed and yet it feels as if it was still the year before. When I look at it now, I know I had a very Merry Christmas and that my new was very weird. My new year was something unspectacular. I first tried a sparkling wine, I didn't really like the taste of it that much until I kept sipping and finally chugged down the rest to go to bed. I then also broke a wine glass, I was fortunate enough not to have been hurt at all. I then tried to go to bed and finally did around two. After laying there waiting for the wired me to fall asleep I was about to get out my computer and then finally slept. My Christmas was miraculous. It was breath taking to see my younger brothers just be so happy and wanting to get me and my older sister things. My mom had to tell them no and to put things back in the store. I was touched by this and all of the students that I teach at Ambrose, for an after school program, they and my family made a special year for me.
I have a list of things that I want to do this coming up year. They are special to me and I wish that I could get rid of distractions so I could just focus on these particular things.

I wish to tell you that keep your thoughts alive and keep memories among them. Have a heck of a time with the new year and try to get through it all in one piece. Good bye for now.