Thursday, September 19, 2013

Odd thing of the day,
I feel slighted. and I think I know why and it shouldn't bother me much. but it's not fun.
not by my parents mind you.

Just feel a little left out that I'm not able to jump up and do anything on the spur of the moment with my friends since they are all busy with school and work themselves.
It's annoying and hard to think that I'm going to be lonely for a while....
It is hard to deal with my sister being so hyper and perky and mushy.
Makes me wonder if I was like that, and I most likely was.
BUT I wasn't asking my sister questions about her experiences. I wasn't rubbing in her face that I had a "guy" and she didn't.
I didn't do mushy crap on Skype and Skype a guy 18 billion hours a day!
I didn't get to do that. I wasn't able to fully express my guy and me and claim it to the world.
like she can, and here she compares herself to me.

I feel down today, and it's not fun. I don't know what else to feel.

Will I fail in life? I don't know.
 I have a direction with school, but I do enjoy the social aspect of everything and it bothers me to no end that my social life seems empty and I think that's why I can be down and sad.
I think that's the problem I see my friends spur of the moment able to do something and I have to plan in advanced.

I just really don't want to deal with anything right now, not even school. I feel depressed and it's bad.

So here I locked myself in my room, and am trying to focus on school. >.< Idk what to do, just got to buck up and be me right? breathe, and focus on my life.
Just breathe ;)

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