The purpose.

I'm a CNA at a nursing home (not anymore, I switched jobs)
There was a male resident that is going down hill and looks like a monster appearance wise. I was working night shift last night and I had to sit with him, to make sure he slept. That he didn't crawl out of bed. He was very sad and last night he looked at me and said "Thank you" I asked, "What for?"
He said, "For giving me company."
That statement just was a dagger in the heart. I was very surprised. Has anyone in this facility ever taken time to treat him as a human?
I sat there for about an hr as he slowly became silent and still and soon dead. I held his hand and was able to be there and show him that hey, you're human and I'm human and I can love.
What destroyed me, I know he was a devout mormon.
He was shaking and convulsing like someone would if they were cold or terrified. I knew he was terrified and that he was seeing things in his mind. I just knew. I think he was having his come to Jesus moment. He died while shaking and holding my hand. It was so hard. Because I was silent, I knew if I brought up "religious" beliefs he wouldn't listen. But I didn't say anything so I have a guilt about my heart that I didn't stand up for the right and silent suffering he was experiencing.
I saw then that he was a human and he was a person who was loved and that I felt sorry for his soul. Appearances didn't matter anymore and he really showed that. It was his soul that God was after and I wish I could have given him a piece of God in his heart.
I also held death's hand. As this man died last night. I held his hand and he died. The end, no more.
He was gone and no one would see his smile with half of his dentures in. This was different. He wasn't dead in physical form, he was dead in spiritual.

Another thing from earlier today, I told my boyfriend that when I get married I want it to be about God. Imagine walking down the isle thinking to yourself. I'm marrying the piece of God in you.
That's what I'm marrying. That's what I want. I want that piece and my piece of God to be together and joined forever in God alone. That we (my future husband and I)  both stand as separate flames but as one together in Christ. Wouldn't that be cool? think of it. it is a life long dream of mine to marry a piece of God I don't have.