my heart

My heart breaks as it beats.
My heart cries for it's weak.
My heart denies me my
feelings.
My heart hurts and sobs
My heart is heavy and wont
stop weighing me down.
My heart this, my heart
that.
I have to think with my
head.

I miss him so much in a "intimate way." I want him and I know I've hurt him. I want him to be mine, and forever mine. I want him to need me, and I want to need him. Why is love such a touchy subject?
It hurts so much towards the breaking point. Love is also there to comfort and love you. To hold you close and not let you fall.
Why was I stupid enough to say I'm stepping back? ? ? ?
I was being mature and following my head. I just want him. I need him. He makes me happy :)
He makes me want to better myself. I want to be with him. and I can't.
I wont play around with his emotions either. I wont flirt with him, I respect his emotions and values way to much for that. I wont toil in his hurt or devastate him by playing him. I just want to love him and him love me back.
With his mom in the way, it makes it hard. and I hurt so bad because I love him and can't have him.